The Middle Ages?!

I recently read a blurb about a movie coming out called 'This is 40'. I have absolutely no idea what it's about but the title alone made me think about where I am and how I got here. I think about being in my 40s and I have these vivid flashbacks from childhood, high school, college, the blur of my mid-20s and starting a family in my mid-30s. How can I be 'this old?' I don't feel it (except when I crashed from attempting to ride my 8 year old son's skateboard in the house--my back hurt for weeks!).

It makes the term 'age is only a number' ring true for me. 42 isn't 'old' per se--Gwen Stefani?! Jennifer Lopez?!, but it certainly isn't young (which makes it all the more interesting when purchasing something like Tokidoki Ontisuka Sneakers...are these the sneakers of a 42 year old mom? Apparently so).

Tokidoki Ontisuka Tiger Sneakers!

When I was in high school I thought I'd be married with 2 kids by the time I was in my late 20s. You have this idea of what 'adulthood' is supposed to be and bring about but when you get there the reality is you still have doubts, issues, questions about life in general--the same way you do when you were younger, hopefully smaller doubts even though you may have bigger (real life) issues.

Ah real life issues--family, marriage, mortgage (blah), career (sigh)...earlier on they still included the mysteries of dating, ladder climbing in your career, body weight! I don't know what I envisioned in terms of 'living the life'...but I've gotten to a place, settled in the 'burbs, where I have it good. If I was going to have some kind of mid-life crisis, I would have had it by now. Or maybe it's embodied in those shoes? haha

What I do love about being older is the insecurities I felt in my younger adult years have morphed into more of a positive. Any doubts I have I see as a challenge rather than a barrier. I'm not as concerned with what people think about me and who I am. I can honestly say I don't really care. It's easier for me to prioritize what is truly important in my life and relationships than it was back in the day--so the life I have now is more real to me than it was then. I don't have fake frenemy relationships anymore. I don't doubt that I bring value to the relationships I have. If I didn't I wouldn't spend the time or energy to maintain and nurture them they way I may not have before.

So the middle ages (so far) have been, for me, a way to embrace what is real in my life, know who I am and strive to improve but also not lose sight of what is most meaningful. I can honestly say I am, at this age, where I belong.

And those sneakers will be fun to wear to school pick up.