Where does self motivation and the desire to achieve something, anything, come from? How do you instill it in your children, and more importantly, in yourself?
I was talking to my 9 year old son about having the 'fire' when he's on the court playing basketball. It's not just wanting to be there and wanting to win--it's about being motivated and in the moment, in the zone, to put it out there to do your best, to want to win but even if you don't, know you tried. I tell him, 'it's all about the fire'.
Fire.
Fire is necessary. It allows you to thrive, challenge yourself, pick yourself up, love people, love something. I don't want to be the type of person that can get up every day and live on auto pilot. How can you go through the routine of life and not be aware of what it is that makes you truly motivated, excited, fun?! That is a sad way to live (for me anyway).
I'm not saying I need to go jump out of an airplane or live some big adventure. I think it's more meaningful when you have the excitement from the day to day of your own life. Watching your kids play sports, being with your friends having a laugh. Fire isn't something within that has to rage like an inferno, it can be powerful even if it's still.
I don't know if it is something you can teach your children or if they will understand what it means until they are older. But you can put it out there and hope they know it's always there--you just have to (have to!) keep it burning.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New
It's the first day of the new year.
This is the time when resolutions are supposed to kick in, a time to let go of last year and start fresh.
I don't know if that rings true for me--to go from one day to another and everything starts over...I like the idea of it. I like that people want to improve, to start again, to do things differently in order to be more productive, less judgemental, more aware, less negative--perhaps those are attributes I am thinking about for myself.
The new year isn't necessarily about change for me but more about being grateful to be able to grow and grow up with my family. It's about relationships and friendships.
I love celebrating New Year's eve with my family and friends. It's one of my most favorite things to do--to go from one year to the next laughing and having fun with special people, screaming the countdown into the new year. YAY!
Just don't forget the confetti!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is the time when resolutions are supposed to kick in, a time to let go of last year and start fresh.
I don't know if that rings true for me--to go from one day to another and everything starts over...I like the idea of it. I like that people want to improve, to start again, to do things differently in order to be more productive, less judgemental, more aware, less negative--perhaps those are attributes I am thinking about for myself.
The new year isn't necessarily about change for me but more about being grateful to be able to grow and grow up with my family. It's about relationships and friendships.
I love celebrating New Year's eve with my family and friends. It's one of my most favorite things to do--to go from one year to the next laughing and having fun with special people, screaming the countdown into the new year. YAY!
Just don't forget the confetti!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Be the Blue Sky
This week I took part in a class to minimize stress and 'create' more joy in your day to day life...not something I would normally be interested in as I think a lot of that is too 'crunchy' for me, but I love that the company I work for offered it and a lot of what the class had to offer was practial information on how to deal with stress--or more importantly, how to change your attitude about stress in general.
Now I am not a patient person. I live on deadline and I almost enjoy being on task all the time. But I get it--if you have a lot going on in your life and work that doesn't feel right it becomes a chore and you lose the enjoyment of it it's time to re-set. Perspective or 'attitude' is everything.
One of the things they noted in the class was instead of looking at the seeing the sky as cloudy, to 'be the blue sky' instead. Immerse yourself in the present, blah blah blah. Yeah, I know. But it's hard to do when you don't love your work, you have bills to pay, work full time, have kids and other outside pressures. I know what they are trying to say but living in it everyday, it's not always blue sky. And for me that's ok.
I prefer there to be clouds sometimes, no one can live in the sunshine every day--but you have to make the effort to see or expect to see the blue in between.
I am, at the core of it all, as much as I hate to admit it, a positive, optimistic (ok not always) person about it all. I change what I can and I let go of what I can't--one of my favorite sayings is 'adapt gracefully'.
Just don't get me started on rainbows.
Now I am not a patient person. I live on deadline and I almost enjoy being on task all the time. But I get it--if you have a lot going on in your life and work that doesn't feel right it becomes a chore and you lose the enjoyment of it it's time to re-set. Perspective or 'attitude' is everything.
One of the things they noted in the class was instead of looking at the seeing the sky as cloudy, to 'be the blue sky' instead. Immerse yourself in the present, blah blah blah. Yeah, I know. But it's hard to do when you don't love your work, you have bills to pay, work full time, have kids and other outside pressures. I know what they are trying to say but living in it everyday, it's not always blue sky. And for me that's ok.
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| I've looked at clouds from both sides now, From up and down, and still somehow, It's cloud illusions I recall, I really don't know clouds, at all... Joni Mitchell |
I prefer there to be clouds sometimes, no one can live in the sunshine every day--but you have to make the effort to see or expect to see the blue in between.
I am, at the core of it all, as much as I hate to admit it, a positive, optimistic (ok not always) person about it all. I change what I can and I let go of what I can't--one of my favorite sayings is 'adapt gracefully'.
Just don't get me started on rainbows.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Fill It Up
This past weekend we had friends over for an early Summer BBQ. Lots of kids, lots of food, lots of good conversation.
What brings me immense joy is having good people in life that lift you up and share similar values. These are the people you choose to have in your life as an adult--you aren't bound by school cliques or work or bloodlines. You choose to be with them to share sunny days and water balloon fights, crack jokes over good food and share excitement in watching a solar eclipse (then finding the Bonnie Tyler song, Total Eclipse of the Heart).
Fun, simple moments like this in a backyard are what I love. This fills me up--kind of like a water balloon about to burst.
It's amusing to me when people look for excitement or feel their day to day lives are boring. My mom would say you choose to be happy, or not--and you really do. Or as Betty Draper once said, 'Only boring people are bored'. People are always looking for something to happen or looking for more and more. Sometimes all you need to do is look in your own backyard.
Life is what you make it--fill it up and watch it burst.
What brings me immense joy is having good people in life that lift you up and share similar values. These are the people you choose to have in your life as an adult--you aren't bound by school cliques or work or bloodlines. You choose to be with them to share sunny days and water balloon fights, crack jokes over good food and share excitement in watching a solar eclipse (then finding the Bonnie Tyler song, Total Eclipse of the Heart).
Fun, simple moments like this in a backyard are what I love. This fills me up--kind of like a water balloon about to burst.
 |
| Yay! ...but beware of waterballoons that hit you in the eye! |
It's amusing to me when people look for excitement or feel their day to day lives are boring. My mom would say you choose to be happy, or not--and you really do. Or as Betty Draper once said, 'Only boring people are bored'. People are always looking for something to happen or looking for more and more. Sometimes all you need to do is look in your own backyard.
Life is what you make it--fill it up and watch it burst.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The Middle Ages?!
I recently read a blurb about a movie coming out called 'This is 40'. I have absolutely no idea what it's about but the title alone made me think about where I am and how I got here. I think about being in my 40s and I have these vivid flashbacks from childhood, high school, college, the blur of my mid-20s and starting a family in my mid-30s. How can I be 'this old?' I don't feel it (except when I crashed from attempting to ride my 8 year old son's skateboard in the house--my back hurt for weeks!).
It makes the term 'age is only a number' ring true for me. 42 isn't 'old' per se--Gwen Stefani?! Jennifer Lopez?!, but it certainly isn't young (which makes it all the more interesting when purchasing something like Tokidoki Ontisuka Sneakers...are these the sneakers of a 42 year old mom? Apparently so).
When I was in high school I thought I'd be married with 2 kids by the time I was in my late 20s. You have this idea of what 'adulthood' is supposed to be and bring about but when you get there the reality is you still have doubts, issues, questions about life in general--the same way you do when you were younger, hopefully smaller doubts even though you may have bigger (real life) issues.
Ah real life issues--family, marriage, mortgage (blah), career (sigh)...earlier on they still included the mysteries of dating, ladder climbing in your career, body weight! I don't know what I envisioned in terms of 'living the life'...but I've gotten to a place, settled in the 'burbs, where I have it good. If I was going to have some kind of mid-life crisis, I would have had it by now. Or maybe it's embodied in those shoes? haha
What I do love about being older is the insecurities I felt in my younger adult years have morphed into more of a positive. Any doubts I have I see as a challenge rather than a barrier. I'm not as concerned with what people think about me and who I am. I can honestly say I don't really care. It's easier for me to prioritize what is truly important in my life and relationships than it was back in the day--so the life I have now is more real to me than it was then. I don't have fake frenemy relationships anymore. I don't doubt that I bring value to the relationships I have. If I didn't I wouldn't spend the time or energy to maintain and nurture them they way I may not have before.
So the middle ages (so far) have been, for me, a way to embrace what is real in my life, know who I am and strive to improve but also not lose sight of what is most meaningful. I can honestly say I am, at this age, where I belong.
And those sneakers will be fun to wear to school pick up.
It makes the term 'age is only a number' ring true for me. 42 isn't 'old' per se--Gwen Stefani?! Jennifer Lopez?!, but it certainly isn't young (which makes it all the more interesting when purchasing something like Tokidoki Ontisuka Sneakers...are these the sneakers of a 42 year old mom? Apparently so).
 |
| Tokidoki Ontisuka Tiger Sneakers! |
When I was in high school I thought I'd be married with 2 kids by the time I was in my late 20s. You have this idea of what 'adulthood' is supposed to be and bring about but when you get there the reality is you still have doubts, issues, questions about life in general--the same way you do when you were younger, hopefully smaller doubts even though you may have bigger (real life) issues.
Ah real life issues--family, marriage, mortgage (blah), career (sigh)...earlier on they still included the mysteries of dating, ladder climbing in your career, body weight! I don't know what I envisioned in terms of 'living the life'...but I've gotten to a place, settled in the 'burbs, where I have it good. If I was going to have some kind of mid-life crisis, I would have had it by now. Or maybe it's embodied in those shoes? haha
What I do love about being older is the insecurities I felt in my younger adult years have morphed into more of a positive. Any doubts I have I see as a challenge rather than a barrier. I'm not as concerned with what people think about me and who I am. I can honestly say I don't really care. It's easier for me to prioritize what is truly important in my life and relationships than it was back in the day--so the life I have now is more real to me than it was then. I don't have fake frenemy relationships anymore. I don't doubt that I bring value to the relationships I have. If I didn't I wouldn't spend the time or energy to maintain and nurture them they way I may not have before.
So the middle ages (so far) have been, for me, a way to embrace what is real in my life, know who I am and strive to improve but also not lose sight of what is most meaningful. I can honestly say I am, at this age, where I belong.
And those sneakers will be fun to wear to school pick up.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
The Joy of Shel Silverstein
I recently purchased the Shel Silverstein book 'Everything On It', published posthumously. I love it. LOVE. We stayed up and read the poems and laughed at how clever, silly, and funny they are. You have to laugh often. It's a true treat.
I also love his other books--my favorites are The Giving Tree, Where the Sidewalk Ends and The Missing Piece. Check them out. You won't be disappointed!
I also love his other books--my favorites are The Giving Tree, Where the Sidewalk Ends and The Missing Piece. Check them out. You won't be disappointed!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thanksgiving and No More Drama
Thanksgiving shouldn't be the only time one reflects on the things they are grateful for. I try to do this often--very often, but I'm glad there is a day to celebrate those things that make life worthwhile. For me it is truly my family and friends. I'm also thankful to have good job and a home--not a house, but a home. I'd like to believe some of this is by luck (born into a family with great parents) and some of it is earned (good job, great friends).
When I think about these things the words of a song from The Sound of Music seems to echo in my head: "Somewhere in my youth and childhood, I must have done something good.' Alas, I was a brat. Thankfully, I am less of one now.
During Thanksgiving I had a discussion (debate?!) with my mom about a relative I had a falling out with years ago. This person decided on Thanksgiving she would call my mom and sister to, I don't know, repent or attempt to try and mend relationships. It doesn't fly with me (remember that brat thing I mentioned?), because in my heart I know she is not sincere. Mom and I got into this conversation about forgiveness and making amends, blah blah blah. The truth is, if you base your relationships on how people treat you and vice versa, and your history in eachother's lives and your/their actions and it's consistently questionable at best, isn't it best to cut ties? (Cut the fat, it will weigh you down?!) I don't believe in wasting energy on people that drain it out of you, your family, their family, the people they supposedly care for.
For my own life and the age I am now, I don't want to waste my time. And that brings up the words to yet another, much different song Mary J Blige sings: "No more drama"! I am definitely thankful for that!
When I think about these things the words of a song from The Sound of Music seems to echo in my head: "Somewhere in my youth and childhood, I must have done something good.' Alas, I was a brat. Thankfully, I am less of one now.
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| Give Thanks--daily! |
For my own life and the age I am now, I don't want to waste my time. And that brings up the words to yet another, much different song Mary J Blige sings: "No more drama"! I am definitely thankful for that!
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